Photographs from January to June 2021.

“No one expected me. Everything awaited me.”

It happened so slowly she didn’t know how or when it started. One day she simply turned her head to look back and she was able to see what a long way she’d come. Then she looked forward to see with excitement how much more left she still had ahead of her.

So. She changed.

Every day she tried to choose herself. Opening up as much as she found it in her. To people, to new things, to love, and to everything worth living. Even when it meant deviating from the plan she had traced for herself. That’s part of a life well lived.

There were still many fears, but she kept reminding herself that every worry, big or small, would most likely be alright. But even if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. By now she knew: life keeps going on no matter what. 

She learned new skills. Like how to say No. 

This was both painful and glorious, and it could make life a bit lonely, but she respected herself even more in this solitude, hoping that the loss that these boundaries caused in her life would shape a life that fit her just right. New chances will always fill the space left empty by the things that were no good for her.

She also learned to say the loudest and braves Yeses. She tried not to stop to think how it would all turn out—no concern about outcomes, just with living, and trusting the choices she made from her heart. 

She covered her eyes, blindly jumped, and in those few seconds in the air before her feet touched the ground, those seconds she was fully alive.

She trusted. She trusted that if she fell, she would catch herself.

“Still don’t know what I was waitin’ for
And my time was runnin’ wild
A million dead end streets and
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse”
Bowie – Changes