Time to pretend

Photo diaries August-September 2017


“Well, there is a comfort in revisiting the things we once loved when we were young”


I was on the train early today, thinking looking around me and I realized that maybe this period of sadness has a purpose. Perhaps I needed to revisit this feeling to remember what it feels like so I can appreciate good times when they come back.
So I can have better empathy.
So I can connect with others instead of judging them. We connect and understand each other as human beings because we feel each other’s emotions. We can feel other’s joy and be happy for them. But pain makes us more human than anything, it builds bridges.
Like the people on this train. I don’t know them, yet I have a feeling none of those lives are perfect. We all eventually jump into this rollercoaster of chaos and feelings.
I keep learning about how to accept pain, nostalgia, sadness, bad times. They are part of this life same way are happiness, love, joy… I can’t have one without the other. If you’re afraid of the possibility of something bad, you’re gonna let that scary feeling take over and ruin the good moments.


We were in the car on our way back home in the evening, after a beautiful day trip to the coast. This song starts playing, and I know what’s gonna happen. I know with the first notes that I’m feeling sad. And then that verse that makes me cry. Those lyrics make me sad about being sad about missing it. Maybe one day I’ll try to explain what “it” is.

I always liked that song, I still do. Even after the first time that it made me sad and I cried listening to it. It was after my first year in Berlin. I was taking a walk in Kreuzberg with my iPod as always, thinking… and when I heard those lyrics I broke in tears. And it still happens today. When I listen to it now, I go back to the way I felt that day, tears and everything.


September is one of my favorite months of the year. It always was. The true new year. It always brings news, promises, beginnings, energy. So I decided to finish a diary to start a fresh one.
I have the feeling good times are ahead. Exciting times.

I’ll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I’ll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I’ll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I’ll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone
But there is really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew


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